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Upcoming Professional Learning Opportunities
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We are so excited to see all of you at the upcoming professional learning sessions this fall! Check out the full Fall 2024 slate HERE.
Please note:
- If you are unable to attend after having signed up, please cancel your registration in Eventbrite or email Erma Cerda so that we can open seats up to other interested parties!
- All sessions are slated to take place at the locations, times and dates listed. However, the details are subject to change if necessary (ie: inclement weather, facilitator illness, etc), so make sure that you register to attend so that you will receive important updates and correspondence!
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EQurious
Miranda’s musings on all things SEAL
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Expectations and Agreements
Hello Qurious Readers!
I listened to a podcast (this will be a theme at some point…it’s a running joke that I start at least 5 sentences a day with…”I was listening to a podcast…”) a couple months ago that talked about shifting from expectations to making powerful agreements. When I started reflecting on my own experiences, I realized that I am often left feeling disappointed when I have expectations of others and of myself. Expectations are preconceived ideas of how things should be. They are often based on our past experiences, our beliefs, and our values (all super valid and important!). Agreements are mutual understandings or commitments that are made between two or more people and have taken into consideration each parties experiences, beliefs and values. I have consciously been monitoring my “expectation” level at work and at home for the last couple of weeks and am blown away by the unspoken expectations I have of my coworkers, children, partner and myself. Here are some examples:
- I expect that when my children come inside from an activity, they put their backpacks/gear, shoes, etc. in the (obviously) designated spot in the house, but we do not have an agreement.
- At work when I have a cup of coffee, I wash my mug, dry it and put it away, etc. and I expect others to do the same. WHY are there currently 4 dirty coffee mugs in the sink? (Hint: no clear agreement)
- When my partner comes home, I expect him to greet me with a hug. When he has been home for an hour and said nothing, I feel hurt and dismissed. We do not have an agreement between us on how we will engage each other when we return home.
- I have an expectation of myself that I will reflect and journal at the end of the day and consistently think, “I’ll start it tomorrow.” I haven’t made an agreement with myself on what that will actually look like in my evening routine.
Below are couple super common spaces where expectations have left me with some feelings of disappointment and frustration in the workplace over the years…can you relate?
When I schedule a meeting for 9am, I expect people to arrive by 9am at the latest ready to dig in. When folks show up late, and the meeting doesn’t start until closer to 9:10-9:15 which happens sometimes, but what about when it starts to happen consistently? Now I have staff angry and frustrated when they arrive at 9, but others don’t, etc. What might be different if as a team we make an agreement on meeting start times together, share the impact when we start late, establish an agreement on communication process when we will be late (I mean, life happens to all of us!) or miss a meeting (e.g., does the team wait, do folks read notes later and catch up, do they skip the meeting after a certain time, etc.).
When I was a Site Director, we posted “expectations” and also held lots of unspoken ones for staff, youth and families. If I could go back (famous last words), I would create more agreements and deeply engage staff, youth and families in creating them. It may have alleviated a lot of distress for me AND them! Do you have program expectations at your program site(s) or do you have agreements? Have all your staff, families and participants agreed to them and participated (when possible) in creating them?
I invite you to notice where expectations show up for you in all areas of your life and consider how you can shift some of them into agreements.
Until next time…stay EQurious!
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